Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
