his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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