so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
