Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
