i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
