Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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