That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
