Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
