I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
