we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
