sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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