I CAN MOONWALK!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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