Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
