I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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