thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
