She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
