Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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