Duck Duck Cougar?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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