her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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