He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
