This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
