What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
