OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
