i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
