So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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