So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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