Tell her she can't have a vagina
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
