u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
