Joe is yelling at the trees again.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
