it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
