real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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