The panties match.
I'll be right there.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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