Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
