smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
