you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
