ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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