Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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