Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
