I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
