Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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