Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
this hospital has no fireball
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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