I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
