and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
