i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
