After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
