so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
