After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
