so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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