you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
