I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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