can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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