also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
