I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
