you guys were way drunker than both of me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
